Progesterone and Holy Basil are a Godsend

Saturday I went to a vitamin shop suggested by my wonderful GP.  It was packed with women (I feel that's a testimony to the services they offered) and the owner talked to me about all my current issues and completely understood.  My lack of sleep is a menopause problem and she suggested Pro-Gest by Emerita.  Progesterone is a hormone I can take that won't feed endometriosis.  I've started on it slowly and last night was my first full dose and I got sleep without any sleep meds.  I'm feeling back to normal, I'm still tired but I have a lot of sleep to catch up on.  I'm really interested in the company that makes Pro-Gest, it's called Emerita and it's run by women and they have an 800 number that if you call and leave a message they will have a medical professional talk to you.  Women need women like this who care most about our health concerns.  The Holy Basil is an adaptogen and seems to be just generally good for you (like adding fish oil).  It reduces cortisol which in turns reduces inflammation, helps with stress.... studies are showing it to be helpful do reduce cancer growths, helps with sleep, and the list goes on.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adaptogen

I'm excited about getting more involved and understanding my body and its functions better.  I am feeling better with each day and I know one day I'll have normalcy :)

Enough with the Insomnia

I went Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday night without taking any sleep medication.  The first night I got around 3 or 4 hours of sleep, then 4, then last night I was wide awake after 45 minutes.  I laid in bed for about 30 minutes or an hour, and then got up.  I was not tired.  I started doing research and apparently insomnia is one of the most common and troublesome symptoms for women... next to hot flashes (which I don't have, thank GOD!).  When I took estrogen I didn't have sleep disturbances like this.  Getting only 3 hours of sleep a few days in a row is not good and this had been going on even before I stopped taking sleep medication.  All The typical sleep medications I kept trying did not work so I've been doing this for weeks now.  I am still pain free so the Estrogen must have been activating the endometriosis, but maybe the lack of Estrogen is the cause for no sleep now.  So, I caved at 6 a.m. and took my always trustworthy Klonopin and slept for 5.5 hours straight.  Ahh.  That with the 45 minutes I got b/f that is 6.25 hours of sleep.  I feel much better.  I really think it's hormonal so I'm going to make an appt with my doctor on Monday and catch up on sleep "unnaturally" for a few days until I see her.  I've read a lot online and it looks like I can take progesterone and it will help with menopausal insomnia.  It shouldn't contribute to the endo. Fingers cross, hands in prayer.  I must give God the glory that even though I was getting very little sleep He did answer my prayer and sustain me during the day.  I was able to take care of everything I needed to during the day very well.  My talking was getting strange, though, (stuttering) so sleep deprivation was really setting in.

My Battle with Endometriosis & IBS

I say battle because it has been, literally, a long-hard battle.  I am a bruised and weary warrior, but a warrior nonetheless because I have been victorious.  If you are a woman struggling with endometriosis coupled with IBS I pray that statement brings you the much needed hope you desire.  My story is long and I will give all of my history in case that is helpful, but feel free to jump to headings if you don't want all of the background information.  Some of my advice is based on scripture, but even if you are not a Christian, my medical experience will be helpful and I still would like to help you get relief. 

When It Started - The Complete History

Before I ever knew I had endometriosis, I was a nervous worrying child who had a lot of stomach aches.  They didn't interrupt my life when I was a kid, I just had a constant ache.  In retrospect, I think food changes and learning how to deal with worries and stress would have relieved this, but it was the 80's and the doctors had no answers.  Other than my stomach aches I was perfectly healthy.  It wasn't until I hit puberty that it got really really bad (this should have been a clue to the doctors that hormones were involved, but this was never realized until my 20s).  When I was about 13 I had a youth trip the next day that I was very excited about for two reasons, the water park we were going to was A-Mazing.... and two, a boy I really liked was going.  I woke up at about 4 a.m. that morning in excruciating pain.  This was not the normal stomach aches.  I couldn't go on the trip but this pain didn't resurface for a while. 
   
IBS Diagnosis

When I became 18 years of age the pain got really bad and very frequent.  It was interrupting my life at this point.  I had graduated from high school for a little over a year, was attending college, and working.  I was making it through everything, but barely.  I still lived at home so I had a great support system.... I'd come home writhing in pain at the end of the day and my parents were there to comfort me and grieve with me.  It was very difficult to make it through the day... pure determination kept me going and I would come home at night from work in a crumbled deteriorated state, spending the rest of the night in pain and in the restroom.  I can't explain the pain.  It was so bad that I wished death for myself.  I've never given birth but I've talked to other women who had IBS and they said the pain was liken to giving birth but worse because there was no rest or knowing the "contraction" would be over soon.  My intestines squeezed and twisted for hours until I fell asleep.  Needless to say, I became accustomed to a gastro-intestinal (GI) doctor and had every test ran.  Every blood test was normal.  All scans were normal.  Last resort was upper-GI scan and lower GI scan (colonoscopy at 18).  Of course, everything was normal.  The diagnosis was irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) because that's what the doctor tells you you have when they can't figure out what's wrong with you.  Doesn't the name sound ironic... irritable bowel.  Isn't that the same as saying my bowel is irritated?  It doesn't give any answers - just states what we already know - our stomach is upset.  "As many as 20 percent of the adult population, or one in five Americans, have symptoms of IBS, making it one of the most common disorders diagnosed by doctors. It occurs more often in women than in men, and it begins before the age of 35 in about 50 percent of people." More Information Here  You would think that since more women are affected with IBS doctors would clue in that there may be a hormonal factor but I feel that they just think women are more emotional and so more susceptible to the syndrome.  This is partially true but I wish they would explore hormonal issues before sending a woman to the psychiatrist, which is where they sent me next.

Psychotherapy

At this point I was really desperate.  It was so hard to work with the pain, which was increasingly becoming worse and more frequent.  The doctor immediately put me on 20 mg of Paxil which turned me into a zombie.  It did a decent job because my pain receptors were numbed but after a few weeks I became sick again and decided to go off the medication.  I was engaged to be married to my now dear husband (dh) and we decided to not continue the medication.  My dh said he would help me financially and I could stop working but I did not accept because we weren't married yet and I did not feel it was right (and my mom taught me this) to be dependent on another person (besides family) financially, or otherwise.  The day we got back from our honeymoon I quit working.  I probably stayed in bed sick for the most part in the beginning of our marriage.  Thinking at this point that my pain was related to anxiety, I accepted being put on Xanax because I could take it when I needed to and not be constantly sedated.  That coupled with a lot of immodium, and sometimes vicodin, allowed me to get out of bed.  That was all doctors could advise me.  I believe that since the medical community by  in large thinks that we are here as a result of chance created by science and are therefore mere chemicals, they can only treat the symptoms with chemicals.  Sometimes I would see a Christian counselor and they offered some comfort, but really most Christian counselors are not equipped with enough Bible knowledge to confront the heart of man and the illnesses that can result of it.

Biblical Counseling - A Solution to a Third of the Problem

In 2007 my dh decided to go to college and pursue a degree in Christian theology.  I told him that if he would go for a degree in Biblical Counseling, I would attend with him.  I knew that part of my problem was spiritual.  Biblical counseling (BC) differs from Christian counseling in that the BC is heavily equipped with scripture, it refuses that man has "mental disorders" that cannot be resolved, and treats disorders with hope of a complete cure.  It doesn't ignore that depression, anxiety, and the like, exist (to do so would be to be like an ostrich with your head in the ground) but rather it rejects the idea that we cannot be healed of our disorders.  This concept at first seemed strange to me but by the time I finished the degree program, I was doing much better.  First, I forgave those who had caused me pain in a way that the emotional pain did not bother me anymore... and to this day does not.  Complete forgiveness is difficult.  I only was able to do this with scripture, realizing that my sole purpose for being on earth is to bring glory to God.  It's not about my desires and them bringing me happiness, but bringing joy to my Father by doing right.  It's not wrong to desire that you have happiness and people treat you justly, but it becomes wrong when things do not go your way (and they won't) and  you react in self pity and anger.  God designed every human being with a conscience.  We all understand that we have one.  This is not just in Christian circles, but is also widely accepted in all walks of life.  A lot of humanistic theology tries to teach that the guilt caused by our conscience is wrong and a fault of our church background, society, family, etc... but the Bible teaches that the conscience is designed to examine our heart and our actions and it is constantly on guard either accusing us or defending us based on our actions.  For a person who is consistently out of line with God's plan, this equals a lot of guilt which leads to anxiety, depression, insomnia, and a myriad of mental problems... which also produce psychical problems. 

Romans 2:12 All who sin apart from the law will also perish apart from the law, and all who sin under the law will be judged by the law. ¹³For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God's sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous. ¹⁴(Indeed, when Gentiles, who do not have the law, do by nature things required by the law, they are a law for themselves, even though they do not have the law, ¹⁵since they show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts now accusing, now even defending them.) ¹⁶This will take place on the day when God will judge men's secrets through Jesus Christ, as my gospel declares.

It is possible to sear your conscience and become completely guilt free and many have, but this is not true for everyone.  This knowledge was helpful for me in understanding my anxiety and insomnia.  My tummy aches as far back as a child resulted because I was such a worrier (again not depending on God's complete ability to care for me) and held on to hurts (not having a spirit of forgiveness and humility).  Also, understanding that Jesus Christ forgave me for all my iniquities and it would be foolish, and a slap in his face, to not forgive others helped me to forgive and let go.  A sense of humility was learned during this degree program. "Do nothing from selfishness or conceit, but in humility count others better than yourselves". (2 Philippians 2:3).  Another big help was realizing God's command to love everyone, even our enemies.... those who hurt us and seek to destroy us.  The love God commands is the greek word agape and God gives an exact definition of the type of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.  Think of a person that has hurt you and see if your love measures up to God's standards.  I did this and found I was denying what Jesus said is God's second greatest command. (Matthew 22:37-40)  If you think about it, to deny what Jesus says is God's second greatest command is to deny His first one because the Bible teaches that the way we show our love to God is to follow his commands.  If we're not obeying His commands, we are not loving our God, breaking the first greatest command.  (2 John 1:6) Once I got into a mindset of what my position should be in this world, bringing glory to God in humility, I was able to confess my years of sin and submit to the Holy Spirit and walk in love.  This made life easier.  I wasn't chasing after my own desires, I wasn't holding on to hurts and wrongs, I could be happy even when things were not good.  I'm not 100% with peace and I don't know if I'll ever be on this side of heaven... but I'm closer and my life is better because of the things I learned about what the Bible says about man.
 
Food Intolerances - Another Step to Wellness

I gave up on medication with the exception of Xanax.  Xanax was no longer used for anxiety but became a sleep aid at times.  No matter what I did, if I didn't get enough sleep - I was in miserable pain the next day.  So my wonderful GP, that I still use today put me on Klonopin (same class of drug as Xanax but is 8 hour formula and is less addictive because it doesn't give any euphoric rush like Xanax, but works slower and just eases in sleep).  I would take it probably 2-3 times a month for sleep and my doctor carefully managed it.  For my stomach problems, I no longer looked to doctors because nothing helped.  I started researching food and herbal remedies.  I found that milk was a major problem.  I was lactose intolerant.  Lactose intolerance only kicks in when more than 8 oz of milk is consumed so I watched my dairy and took a lactaid pill when I wanted to consume ice cream or queso dip.  Sometimes I wouldn't know what food was upsetting my stomach and I found that activated charcoal pills were very useful if I ate something that just didn't sit well.  This helped a lot but I would still have strong bouts of pain and it seemed to get worse with my monthly cycles.  Finally an answer was coming.
 
Endometriosis/Infertility - The Rest of the Cure

The first OBGYN I saw for my problems did an abdominal scan and saw masses (mostly cysts) and what looked like could probably be endometriosis.  This was in 2004, a few years back.  I pointed to where the pain was and when I went under for laporoscopic surgery, that's exactly where the endometriosis (endo) was.  The surgery really helped for a while.  I did Lupron treatment as well (which puts you into a menopausal state and stops your hormone production) after the surgery to keep the endo from coming back (your bodies natural production of estrogen feeds the endo so the theory is starve the remaining cells of endo of estrogen and they will die).  Turns out, every two years I was back for laporoscopic surgery.  After the 3rd one, the pain was really bad and it didn't seem to help.  The endometriosis had spread to my bowels and my bladder.  I was considering a total hysterectomy, even though I had not had children. I had been trying for over 5 years to get pregnant to no avail and did a few months of fertility treatment - skipping straight to artificial insemination but never undergoing in-vitro insemination.  I just somehow knew I'd never get pregnant so my dh and I researched other options.  Private adoption didn't set well with us.  We decided to go through CPS and our first foster baby we adopted as soon as the court system would allow it (there's a six month holding period).  Having a child and being completely sure that my family could be completed through adoption, and with the pain becoming worse and more constant.... I continued to consider a hysterectomy.  As a last ditch effort my OBGYN put me on non-stop birth control to where I'd have no periods.  The pain during my periods kept me in bed or on strong pain killers.  This treatment helped a little because the pain with cycles stopped, but the lesser consistent pain did not stop. I'd still have horrible stomach aches attested to IBS but was wondering if it wasn't the endo on my bowels.  After much prayer, talking with physicians, and thought I decided to have a hysterectomy.  This was not an easy decision because for it to be beneficial, you need to remove your ovaries because they produce estrogen which feeds the endometriosis.  Had I left the ovaries they would continue to feed the endometriosis that was on my bowels and bladder (doctors can cut, scrape, burn, laser endo all they want, but some times the cells of endo too small for the trained eye  and are left and it will continue to grow if estrogen is present).  In the end I knew I didn't want to be dependent on pain medicine because I have a child and would need help when I took it (I'm too cautious to take pain medication and take care of my child without help) and I wanted to have a better quality of life, free from pain.  I finally had the surgery in December of 2009.  Turns out fertility was probably never an option for me because I had endometriosis inside of my ovaries, something the doctors never foresaw or could treat and could only be seen when the ovaries were removed and dissected.  So when I did artificial insemination 3 times, literally loaded up with 8 good eggs that had come to fruition and had the sperm placed right next to them, it probably would never have worked no matter how many times I did it because the endometriosis was damaging my eggs before they even had a chance to leave my ovary.  (My thoughts on fertility is based only on my speculation & experience, along with everything else I am writing). I'm glad I didn't endure the fertility treatments longer than a few months because it was expensive and very painful. 
 
Post-Hysterectomy - Battle is Complete

I felt immediately better, but then again I was on pain medication for the surgery for 6 weeks.  Even though I didn't feel I needed it, the doctor said the medicine would help me heal.  He also put me on a low dose of estrogen.  It didn't make sense to me to go on estrogen because I knew estrogen fed endometriosis and I was worried about some endo cells being left on my bowels/bladder and being fed.  Left untreated, endometriosis can burrow down into organs and cause perforation and blockage.  My OBGYN said that he got all of the endo and I shouldn't worry, reoccurrance was rare.  He was right about that, I did the research and it is rare.  I guess I am rare.  I started having the same ripping and tearing pain in my bowels that I had had before after I was off of the pain medication.  I saw my GP this time and she had suggested that there is more research now that suggests that it's not so rare and that the estrogen could be the culprit.  She suggested going off of the estrogen.  My only menopausal complaint were massive hot flashes, that's why I took the estrogen.  She suggested trying herbal remedies (like Black Cohosh) that did not have natural estrogen in them.  She said if that didn't work, the medical community had discovered that blood pressure medicine worked to relive hot flashes.  I explained that my husband started a new job and maybe it was stress and I needed a little something to help me.  I asked to be put on an anti-anxiety medicine that helped with digestive functions and she said Zoloft was the one that had helped the most.  So, that was a big mistake on my part.  My stomach problems got better for the most part in the beginning (I think mostly because it was shocked into submission by the drugs I was putting into my system) but after a few weeks the pain started up again.  On top of that the Zoloft kept me awake all night and I was only getting 3 hours of sleep at best and it wasn't straight sleep.  I never got into a deep sleep.  I went off the Zoloft and decided to follow my doctors advice about the estrogen.  A few weeks of being off the estrogen cured my stomach problems... but then the hot flashes started up and I could not sleep due to the Zoloft changing my sleep patterns.  The herbal remedies didn't work for my hot flashes and the night sweats kept me awake all night.  I went on a special blood pressure medicine called Klonodine that only lasts 8 hours (just enough for me to get through the night) and it worked like a charm.  (I can't take an all day blood pressure medicine because my blood pressure is already normal and it will make it drop low and could cause dizziness or even for me to pass out, thankfully my hot flashes during the day are rare and mild in comparison to the night ones).  The end result is I have no more hot flashes and I am estrogen free.  I am pain free and have been pain free for almost 3 weeks.  That is a record I have not achieved in years. 

I am still dealing with sleep issues due to the Zoloft.  I tried different sleep meds to just reset my system but they just left me groggy the next day.  I decided last night to not take any more sleep meds and just let my body naturally get back in rhythm.  I only got about 4 hours of sleep last night but I have no stomach aches (before the surgery I would be in extreme pain after only a few hours of sleep) and it was a good deep 4 hours.  I can only hope it'll get better from here.  I'll update on the sleeping problems later... I feel better already just after one half night of deep sleep.  The outlook is sunny.  I feel good and I am very hopeful the nightmare is over.  I hope anyone reading this can get some relief from my experiences.